


The Dinner crew's new informant

by Chacw



Series: The chronicle of a quiet demon who gets caught up in other people's problems [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:17:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chacw/pseuds/Chacw
Summary: 10,000 children go missing over night, Alcor cant find them and Portland is in chaos, Hank and Alcor decide there is only one person who can help, pranking ensues.





	1. 10,000 missing children

**Author's Note:**

> ok, so i would mass post this one like I did with the first Chaz fic, but exams are here so I don't have time to write, and besides i'm not done editing some chapters.

“Shit this is bad” hank muttered to himself.

“No shit sherlock” Lucy Ann said while glaring at Hank. Sitting around Hank’s living room were Hank, Vivi, and Lucy Ann, the tv in the corner kept being switched between news stations all showing the same story “almost 10,000 children missing overnight” The only thing these children had in common were they were all under 14 and they all lived in the state of Oregon, Rich kids, poor kids, even supernatural children were missing, no sign of entry, no alarms went off, there were no ransom notes or any clues as to who did this. Everyone everywhere was in panic, but Portland was especially bad, almost 4000 of those children came from portland, the city was in chaos and Hank had no idea what to do. 

“Hank” Vivi called “do you think it’s time to call uncle Dipper?”

 

With a sigh Hank stood up and reach for his tattoo, almost instantly Alcor was floating there in front of hank, no smoke, no dramatics, Alcor looked almost as freaked out as hank was.

“Uncle Dipper, do you know anything about these missing kids?” Hank said while gesturing towards the tv. “No I don't know where they are and I can't find them, don’t know how this is even possible but I can tell you two things, no children from Gravity Falls are missing, and I might know someone who can help you”

Looking sceptical Lucy Ann crossed her arms and said “Aren't you supposed to be omniscient? Who on earth would know more than you?”

A look of realization crossed Hank’s tired face “you don't mean them, they made it very clear never contact them outside of poker nights, didn't they warn you against doing this?”

“Yes, well I can’t find the children and I have tried all I could, I wouldn't do this unless we had another choice but-”

“Who on earth are you two talking about?” Lucy Ann sounded annoyed, she thought she knew all of Hank’s friends and they way they talked about them made it clear they could be trouble.

“Where to start” Hank mumbled, “I have known them since I was eight, they are the single smartest being we have ever met, but they are almost comically socially awkward at times. But more importantly they are the only demon I know that could defeat Alcor”

“Wait, how many demons do you know?” Lucy Ann countered with a small grin. Hank and Alcor looked nervous, neither sure if this was even a good idea.

“Sigh, let me do the talking” Hank said giving a pitying look towards his uncle. “Ok, Dipper do you have his circle?” 

Everyone stepped back looking at the book in the middle of the weirdly shaped summoning circle, before anyone could react the door opened and Chazun walked in, Black pants, vest, and tie, over a demon blue dress shirt, red marker cap sticking out of the breast pocket of the vest, his hands looked like clumps of vaguely hand shaped clouds of smoke, his head was just as smokey but instead of a face there was a white mask with annoyed eyebrows drawn on in red. Not even looking up at the occupants of the room he walked over and propped a sign up in the middle of the summoning circle, before just as quickly turned around and walked back out of the room as silently as when he came in.

The sign read “Screw off Al-DORK”

“What just happened?” Lucy Ann asked Hank

“This is going to difficult” Hank muttered.


	2. Convincing an Introvert to work, and pranks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a deal is struck, Chaz get's what he wants and Hank gets help finding the children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three things. One: there isn't going to be a regular update schedule, it's going to be if i'm feeling productive, and if not how do I want to waste my time, which editing this is a tied race with video games the rest could come out tomorrow, or make you wait over a week, idk life happens.
> 
> two: I'm also going to start pretty soon another story for Chaz titled "Ways Alcor has been pranked" that probably will start before this one ends, its a lot more fun to write then it is to edit, we will see but oh boy am i looking forward to those, feel free to comment ways you think he will be pranked, it's going fun.
> 
> three: I firmly believe that shorter chapters are better for two reasons, its easier to find where you left off if you have to stop mid fic, and two its less likely to need to stop mid chapter if they take less time. so enjoy your next 5 minutes of fun.

“Wait, was he just physical without a summon” Lucy Ann said while staring directly at Alcor with knives in her eyes “Exactly how powerful is this guy?”  
“To be honest, I have no idea, he masks most of his power so other demons can’t find him or try to start trouble with him, but he is strong, he was able to erase all knowledge about himself from the physical plain, but the amount of power needed to be physical without a summon is massive, I don’t think I could do that”

“Yet” a voice from behind the three of them said, Toby was standing guard outside the room meaning no one should have been able to get in. but there sitting in the corner cross legged with an annoyed doodle on his mask was Chazun. Next to him was the entity known only to others as Chewy, few knew who Chewy belonged too, but many demons have met their ends being ripped apart by their fangs. But right now Chewy was almost asleep purring quietly as they curled closer to Chazun’s side.

“Hey Chaz, Hows it goin-” Alcor said almost nervously before being interrupted

“Remember what I told you when I gave you my circle?”

“Yes, well-” Being interrupted again Alcor said

“Say it, word for word” Chazun said become impatient

“if my circle ever gets leaked I will prank the shit out of you until time ends” Alcor said

“Well my circle is now out, and I have started planning the first prank, so what is so bad you needed me to help fix?”

After explaining the situation to Chazun Hank stepped back and waited while the demon in the corner though “I don’t know who did this, or how-” Chazun was interrupted by Lucy Ann who almost shouted at them “Aren't you supposed to know more than even the infinitely dorky Alcor?” 

“Hey!” Alcor said looking almost offended.

“Quiet Al-Dork, and before you interrupted me I was about to say yet, if there is one thing I am better at than any other being it’s researching” Chazun said while looking even more annoyed

“I have used all methods I have at my hands and I have found nothing” Alcor said 

“I watched your methods, and frankly i’m disappointed in them, they were all magical methods, so i’m going to use some more practical methods, but that leaves one question, what do I get out of this?”

“Our eternal gratitude” Lucy Ann said half mockingly

“How about this, your uncle is going to be pranked at least once an Earth year until time ends, Hank I want your willing help if I ask for pranking, no intentional harm will come to you or anyone else i’m using to help prank Al-Dork over there, what do you say, you get 10,000 kids, I get to cause some chaos, it’s a win win scenario”

Hank thought for a moment before an almost malicious grin crossed his face, fine but I want all the pranks to be recorded so we can mock him about it the next day” with that Hank stuck out his hand to meet Chazun’s, instead of the blue flame Hank has gotten accustomed to, large amounts of black smoke appeared before floating over and curling around and behind Chazun’s mask. “I forgot how much of a rush a deal brings, I can see why other demons love this. Now then, i’m going to be running around Portland to investigate the different crime scenes, this form will be distracting, let’s see what from will work better. Standing up and stretching Chazun snapped his fingers and was consumed in black smoke, when the smoke dissipated a roughly 20 year old women stood there, long red hair, way to many freckles, a pair of black sunglasses hiding the eyes, black baseball cap with their book symbol on it, long sleeved oversized demon blue hoodie going down to just above the knees, black leggings, with a matching pair of pure black high tops, the finishing detail was a white bandana with a red fanged grin on it wrapping around her neck, in her right hand was a pure black baseball bat with, what looked like razor blades sticking out randomly.

Hank was sure those blades were sharper then they looked but he was to surprised by how shockingly like himself Chazun decided to go. “So what do you think?” Chazun said revealing a mouth filled with fangs.

“You look like you could be related to Hank” Lucy Ann said.

“Perfect, only one detail left, Chazun is such an awkward name, let’s go with Cherry for as long as i’m like this”

“Wow a tree name, seriously?” Hank said.

“With the disturbed look your uncle has on his face, I think this is working perfectly, now let’s go bash some kidnapper’s skulls in Bro-Bro” Chazun said before evilly cackling and starting to walk towards the door

“I like her style” Lucy Ann said with almost as evil a smile creeping onto her face

Hank looking extremely awkward said “do you have to do it this way?”

Turning around Cherry smiled and pulled down her glasses to reveal perfectly blank skin “Oh, what’s so bad about this? Not only does it let me do my job but it lets me screw with uncle at the same time”

Noticing how Chazun said he was now her uncle too, Alcor said simply “I hate this so much, i’m going home, don’t get Hank into too much trouble Chaz”

“He is already a notorious mob boss, what's the worst that could happen?”


	3. Finding clues, finding bad news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clue hunt!

Back in one of the warehouses Cherry has set up almost a dozen dry erase boards, and even more cork boards with red strings connecting pictures together. Sitting on the flour in the middle of it is Cherry petting Chewy, slowly tapping a red dry erase marker against her chin one thought kept running through her head, “I need to see the crime scene. Hey Lucy Ann, I have done alI I can here, let’s go look at some crime scenes, where is Hank? He should come too”

“We both have been sitting in the corner waiting for you for over two hours, where to first?”

After quick discussions they settled on a neighborhood with almost 20 missing kids. “First, we need to know which houses are missing kids, then I need to investigate the children’s rooms, if I can’t find anything there I want floorplans of every house on the street, I want to see what was different between the houses with missing children and those without.”

\--------------------

A short drive later they were at the first neighborhood.

“Your hoping to do all this today?” Lucy Ann said sceptically, “and you seem a little happy that 10,000 children are missing”

“Do it all today? Of course! I work quick, and no i'm not happy they are missing i’m happy there is a mystery I can’t instantly solve. Hank come over here, this should be the first house that’s missing a child” Sighing a little Hank followed the overexcited redhead and the sceptical tiny vampire.

“ Excuse me Ma'am my name is Cherry and this is my brother Don Pines, we are doing an investigation into the missing children and would like to study your child’s room for clues”

“Oh, uh well my child wasn't taken”

“That’s ok, we are trying to find out why some children were taken while others won’t, by studying all children's rooms, I hope to find out”

“Well then, I’ll uh, show you the way”

The three of them were lead to a small room on the second floor, the first thing Cherry said once there was “Hmm, no windows”

“Timothy doesn't like the light coming from the street lights outside, so we moved him to this room”

Cherry did a once over of the room before saying “Ok, that’s all, thanks for you help ma’am. Hank can you send some of your people to other houses that aren't missing children, have them look for childrens rooms without windows or rooms with windows too small to climb through”

“Ok Cherry, i’ll go make the call now”

“Thanks bro-bro, me and Lucy Ann will go on to the next house then”

After leaving the house Lucy Ann turned to Cherry and said “Why do you keep referring to Hank as bro-bro? You know he already has sisters right?”

“Oh I have know Hank and his sisters since they were like 8, the media is going freak out when they hear he has a sister named Cherry, best part is I get to listen to Hank try to explain to Willow and Acacia who I am, i’m going to get a recording of the conversation, it’s going to be comedy gold”

“Ok, I can see the appeal in that plan, can you get me a recording of it, Hank will love to hear it over and over again”

After sharing a wonderfully evil smile the two reached the next house.

“ Excuse me Ma'am my name is Cherry and that is my brother Don Pines on the phone with the dinner crew, we are doing an investigation into the missing children and would like to study your child’s room for clues”

“Will you be able to bring my sweet little Lilly home?”

“That’s my job, now let’s see her room”

After a short walk down the front hall they entered a room that looked like it belonged to Robbie.

“That’s a lot of black, black paint, black bed sheets, black curtains” With that last comment Cherry ran over to the window and studied the frame. “Hey Lucy Ann come look at this, see the lock? There’s evidence of magical manipulation on these, and see how the dust is disturbed, something was dragged through here.” Turning to the mother Cherry said “Are there any cameras on this street?”

“Yes, there’s one on the nearby corner”

“Perfect, Lucy Ann let's go get the footage from the camera”

Two hours later and back at the warehouse, Cherry paused the feed at about 4:23 am, “See that Hank”  
“See what? All im seeing is an empty street”

“Look right there, there’s a shadow reflected in the puddle, my guess is that who ever did all this was using some sort of invisibility spell and a lazy one at that, humanity hasn’t developed a spell like this yet so the only way they could get a spell like that was, oh shit I think I know how this happened and things look really bad, get Alcor back here i’m going to go check something” With that Cherry stood up and transformed back into Chazun “I’m going to check Midway, make sure Alcor is here by the time i’m back”

“If a cult has them things could get much worse very quickly.”


	4. Back to MIdway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from bad to worst

Entering the mindscape at ridiculous speeds Chazun bolted towards the Midway bar.

“H̭̻͓͙̩̳̙̟e̶͉̼̦̭̭̣͟y̯̣̘͍̱͕̠͙̩͢ ͓̣̝b̝͍͓̫̣̦͡a̷͚̲̫͇͎͟͝r̬t҉̰̜̜̳̗̺ę͏͈̙̣̟̗͚͍n̺͓d̙̟̹͖͞ẹ̼̻͇̰̼͜͞r̸͎͎̱,̸̢͔̠̣͘ ͓̼̠̮͢͝h̶͉̞͔͇̺̳̬͠ḁ̵̜s͟҉̹̪̖̫̦̭͖ ̛͉̹͔͓̞̹̦̞͢a̸̞̗̖̹͉̳̕͝n̵̟̪y̭̮͙̹o̲̝̪̜n̢̩͙e͙̺͙̠̼͎̼̹͠ ̖̱̯̺̕c̶̲̠͉̞͔͚̹͙a̛͓̘m̙͉̪̝͙̮̬͡͞ͅe̴̢̞ ̶̛͉̘͉i̹͓̥n̖͕̦̣̞̻͟͡ ҉̴̷̠̤͙̖̻̝̣͕͚h҉̻̫e̹͖̳̖͍̱̣̩͝r͏̬̫̦̣̦͞e̡̹̻͍̖͡ ̦͚̼͔̹̘t̵͇̱o̬̤̖̞̜͞d̵̨͈͍̤a̴͖̕y̮̳͝ ̶̢҉̖b̵̙̞̖̖̦̺̬͘͡r̢̰͕̠̗̯͘ͅa̴̸̛͖̼͇̪̥̟͔g͕̲̝̘̼g̩͕̖̖͙̖̳i̲̟̕͝n̨̞̞̳̱g͍̯̟̰̖͔̕ͅ ҉̸̧̬̦̖̦a̮̺̕ͅb̘͕͓̭̱o͍̼̬̪̭̹̟̜u̢̳̦̺͉̩̘͈ṭ̳͎͚ ̝̜̜̙̹t͎̠̺͓͈͔̪̣͢h̭͙̮̖e̷͇͙̱̜͚̹̻̭͙i͉͍̣̼͔͈̯̹r͎ ͏̪̱͇̮̠͕p̧̪̜̮̩̞͡ḽ̟̲̤ͅa͓̳̫̪̜̗̤n̵̦̲̕͜s͕̗̝͉̲̪,͚̥̣̲̲͢ ̛̙̞̤̕e̶͏̮͙͖ͅs̰͖͍͖̪̗̩ͅp̸̶̫͇͜e̶̮̹͡c̯͈͈i͕̪͞ͅą̯l͏͓̞̬͖̟͎͈l͓̱̻̗̗̱͡y̱͎͙̫̹̩̕ ҉̦̤̺͙̺̭̠d̵͍̲̣͟ȩ̱͉̗̤̳m̗̻̱͔͍ͅo͙̱͇̘̭n͓͞͡s҉͙̯͎͎͉̜̖̲̕ 

̶̦̜̜̖o̫̭̠f̛͙̻̺̠̞͖̱͓͟͡ ̛̜̫̗̕͜ḫ̢̭͉i̵̟͖͇̜͖͔̣ͅg̹̫͕ḩ͇̰ ̘̥̬͜p͓̤̲͔̬o̶̞̘͝w͖̕͢ͅe̵͏̳̼̩̯ͅr̡̝̜͎̣͖͖̳͜ ͇̬͚̹̳͍l̵̪̪̠̣̭̻͕͈ẹ̺̦̕v̨͙̝͟e͖͓̟͕͞ļ̡̙͔̱̼̳̰̺͜s͕͖̳͜”

“N̴o ͘d҉e̷m͘on̵s͟, b̷ut C͠h͠ar͞įt͏y͠ ̴the̢ p̴at͟h g͘u͏ider̕ w̕as in ̕he̛r͜e ͢talki̧ng͟ a͘bout how soǫn͏ ҉t͝h͝ey ̶w͘ill͠ be ablȩ ̶to ͘k̵i̕l̨l͢ Alco͡r҉ on̵c͞e̸ ͜an͜d ͡f̛o̷r̢ ͢a͢l͠l͢, c̛o̧m̧plet̷e ̨ho҉gw͏as̢h,̛ ̷t̢he͞y ͠ei͠th̷er ̵ha҉v̨e̸ ̸m͢a͜s͜s̛ive ̡p̨l̕ans͡ or are compl͢et҉ely m͏ad,͘ ̶bu͢t ͜kno̴wi͢n̛g̡ ̕an͞g͏el͢s the̷y ͜ar̶e҉ ͜i͝ns͝a҉n͘e”

“S̰͔͓̹̥̣̕ͅͅh̢͙̠̺̲̣̼̠̫͠i̱͔̜̫͖̜̯̬͝t̙̠͓̭͇̖͈̰̳,̴̟̖̺͖͇̣͎͘ ̢͙̺I̼̖͖̘̘ͅ ̮̖̙̪̻̝͢u̷̠̝̞͖̪͔̻̬ṉ̶̰̣d̨͇̬e̼̞͓͓r̺̟͓͇͉͇̹s̕҉͚̜͉t̛͇a̙̫̪̪͙͟͡n̴̹̱̥̘̳̪̹ͅd̡̝͝ ̫̟͇̗͚̲̩̪͟e҉̵̦͇̹̱̙v̵͕̞e̫̦̗̘͖͔̩̦͞ŗ̸͚͕͈̲͢y̧̫̺͉̹͙̳͔̦t̶̝̪͈͖͙h҉̶̟̜͖̙i̴̙̕n̗̠̩̫͟͢͝g̴͚̩̲̬̣̗̤͈,̶̝͈͙͉̺̹͖̙ ̷̲͓̩̻̝͍̙͜t̬ͅh̲̬͖͎̥̜į̸̙̹̖̟͎̟s̢̮̪͙̟̥͔͠ ̷͓͕̞̳̘̥͖͘i̗͓̳͖̣̰͔s̴̝̦̘͈͚͝ ̸͙̟̻̲̤ͅs̡҉̠̫̱̰̯o͏͔̜̪̠͓ ̲̻̦̭b̶̝̣͘a͏̶͕̰̲d̡̲̜̪̻̱̼̭̬̕ͅ,̛̰̻͝ ̴͎͕̰̮̘͎̩̞͜Į͏͓̭̳͈̺͎̩ ̵̲̩̺̯͝n̬̟͔̤̼̬̕e̵̝͇͔̙̗͜e̜͉̻d̷̡̜̤̬͈̣̩̻̥ ̳͉̝̩̩͓̣͔̕͡t̘̝ơ̸̲̜̺̭ ̷̢͎͕̭͎͎̞g̴͉͖̳̯̻͍̬͢o̧͓̮͚͞ ̨̫̺͎̲̺ṟ̱̖ͅi̵̗͕̤̩̼̱̤g̷̯̱͎̞̟͡h̢̤̳̪͚͔̟̳͓t͏͏̰͔̟̺͓̻ ̗͓͕͉̟͇̤̯̕͠n̸̦̲̣̥̤o̳̠̣͍̦͉̻̺͟w̷̶̱̱̟̖̥͎”

Chazun turned and ran back out the door, popping into existence in the warehouse at full speed, quickly slipping back into the Cherry disguise Chazun said “I know, who, why, and i'm certain I can figure out where the children are”

“Wait what? Start from the beginning” Hank said quickly

“Ok so the people behind this is the church of the path guider, they worship the angel Charity who is known for practically mind controlling their followers, if they can get 10,000 new followers they have power levels Alcor couldn't rival for almost 40 years, angel’s powers come from prayers and belief in them, Charity is already an extremely powerful angel, this sort of stunt could lead to a power imbalance in the angel’s hierarchy, luckily any sort of mental rewiring takes time, and space, In my original research I looked into anywhere in Oregon that could store that many bodies and i narrowed it down to three sites, but knowing that church is involved I have pinpointed the site they are at, its about 60 miles away, but the church is about 60,000 members strong we can’t do this on our own and we don't have much time.


	5. Preperations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War is coming, war is coming!

“Here’s the phone numbers to the head of national security, don’t ask why I have it, Hank tell them who you are, why your calling, and where the missing children are, tell them that there are 60,000 hostiles running a highly secure complex, being lead by a corrupt angel, tell them the dinner crew and Alcor will take care of the angel, but the government is responsible for the church members, also mention a reliable source is sending not only a floor plan of the complex but also best strategies for combat. While your on the phone i'm going to explain to the dinner crew and Alcor our strategy, we need to hurry, the longer we take the more powerful charity will become.”

“Hello my name is Hank Pines, I run the Dinner crew and I was given this number to tell you where the 10,000 missing children are and that the dinner crew need’s the government's help to reclaim them”

“Wait what? Is this Don Pines? How the hell?”

\------------------------

Back in the dinner the entirety of the Dinner crew met up under strict orders to listen to Cherry “Hello dinner crew, i’m Cherry and i’ll be guiding you on this operation, I was brought in to find the location of the children which I have found, Hank is currently calling the government for military support, our mission will be to extract the children and defeat Charity the angel”  
Looking around the room all eyes were on Cherry, being so socially awkward this was getting on her nerves, but she had a job to do and not a lot of time to do it.

“To put the plan simply me and Alcor will keep Charity distracted while all of you evacuate the children, once the children are gone and the church members dead, Charity should be weak enough for Alcor to kill”

“How on earth will you be able to keep up with a powerful demon and a possibly more powerful angel?” shouted on of the pixies hovering by the back

Sharing glances with Alcor who is hovering to the left of Cherry, a cloud of black smoke consumed her and leaving Chazun in her place “M̸̩̪̗͉̣̱y̙͇̩͉̟͘͝͡ ͙͉̜͖̣̝̮͟ṉ͕̦̫͜ͅa̷̸͈͍͓̭̥̙̜̫̻m̧̻͔͙̪̮͎e͏̱͝ ̴͓̗̘̫̮̲͈į̯͇̦s̩͓̪̣͈̺͓͘͟ ̮͙̜̮͓C͔̪͝ͅḫ͠a̡̢͇̠z͏̛̲̪͔̼̲̩u҉̦̘̞̝͓͓n͏͏̡͚̭̬̫̞,̷̫͢ ̸̤̜͠i̵͙̻̗̬͠'͜͏͉͙͚̜̙͘ͅͅm̸̶̲͎̪̫̦͢ ̙̣̠̞̻̱̹̲̕͡a̲͖͕̝̪̘͘͠ ̷̧̜͈͙̫̬̬̦͡f̴̧̤͇̙̜r҉̴͚͇ͅi͚̭̦̖͎̪ę̷̨͓̤̠̖̼̜̬n̨̡̬̯̙̙̖̞̹̻̟d̶͏̩̗͉̲̖̤̹ͅ ̷̥̭̦̘̱̩o̬̘̘͡͞f̹̜̺̜̗̲ ҉̯̺̻͔̱̦͞Ą̸̩͓̦̺͎͜l̶̺̬̜̬̝̺̫̕͞c̵̵̞̹o̳̟̫̻̯͕̙̠r̷̩̟,̜̗͢ ̝͕̞͈͔̰͠I̵̛̘̣̦̲̠ ̸̸͕͡w̥͎͇̤̭̦͘a͖̰͓͎̺̯̘̟̕͝͡s͍̣͓̙ ̛̛͍̟̥̳̥͘ͅb̷҉̟̯̯r̶̼͓̣̕͡o̷̸̪̠̠̱̥̥͍͔u͉̼͍͓͍̼̟͚͜ͅg̷̣̼̭̩h͖̘̮t̩̗̙̺̯̬ ͕͖̰̻͉̲̰ͅḭ͎͍n̯̪͞ ̫̼̼̝̤͇̮͞t̖̬̕ọ̧͙̬͡ ̴̥͖͝f̴̱̜̩͔̮̬͚i̢̤͘n̷̻̗̱̭̮͚͜d͏͏̰͍̪̺̭̳͘ ̷̩̞̣̰̗̹͙͘t͎̫̬̫͔̱̘h̢̞̖̻͍͍e̳̬̜̺͓͓͝͞ ̡̱̜͈̹͔͓͔̲ͅc̷͈͚̱̜͈͉̫͔h̛͚̥̱̬̬̲̦̱̙͝i̴͕̩ḽ̕͘͜d͇̠͚̩ṟ̷̷͍͇̻̟̤e̵͓̩̯̕ņ͍̞̲̳̜͕ͅ ̶̵̧̟͓̥̥̘a̡̳̼͓͈͡n̸̠̭͈͟d̳͕͢ ̴̲̠͙̟͚͔͖ͅl̥͍̣̱͘e̯̪ą̭̖̮͝d̰̻̝͍̕͞ ̢̱̰̘͖̹̰ͅͅt͕̘̼̗̼͖͔̙͎h̨̛̞̩͜e̶̠̪͔̬͎͚̼͘ ̙r͔̤̠e̡̜͔͇̟̥̜̝͓c̵̳͚̙̻̺͜ͅo̢͓͍͚̯͇̠̠̲͉v̢̠͓̩͈̯̗̼ͅe̤̬̥̖͈̻͓͝r̡̧͉ͅy̢̙̫̫͕”

Transforming back into Cherry Chazun continued to explain the plan.  
“I have sent more detail instructions to Lucy Ann who will be leading you while Hank works with the government, but the longer we take the tougher Charity will be, meaning we should get going as soon as possible”


	6. Assault against Charity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> get em, get em!

Fources have gathered outside Charity’s complex, floating almost 1000 feet above it is Alcor and Chazun, “Alcor, i’m going to tell you my back up plan. The odds of this plan failing is only 13% but i’m going to sit out of the invasion, while everyone is attacking i’m going to do what I do best, research Charity, by the way the first set of army transports has just pulled into the complex, looks like the show has started, good luck uncle”

Shooting glances at Cherry while floating away Alcor said “Do you have to keep referring to me as uncle?”

“Of course, this has become too much fun” Cherry said with a too wide grin as Alcor floated away.

“Hank speak to me, I know this is creepy but it’s just so much simpler to just project theses messages into your brain, think your answer and i’ll know it”

 

“What the hel- ok, things are going well, the military’s forces have slowly been able to enclose the complex, but the dinner crew has had no luck getting close to the kids, there are just too many guards, Alcor and Charity are dueling it out in the main hall but things are looking very bad”

Two hours later and things were looking bad, the military has fallen back to plan B which involved a whole lot of rocket launchers, the dinner crew still haven't been able to reach the kids, but now some of the brain washed children were also fighting back against the dinner crew, Alcor was starting to lose against the overwhelming power Charity was gaining from the new recruits, things were looking bad and Chazun still haven't found what they are looking for, Charity’s name.

Another two hours and Chazun had no option but to get involved, The military has been pushed to the outer edges of the courtyard, Dinner crew was forced to fall back also being pushed out side of the complex by not only the church but also the large amount of hypnotized children they came to save, but worst of all Alcor was losing badly, by the time Chazun made it to ground Alcor was blasted out the main doors and was sliding over 10 feet across the ground. Chazun in the Cherry disguise landed in between of Alcor and Charity. “Ok Charity that’s enough, give back the children, remove the brainwashing and go back to your pitiful corner of the mindscape, if you chose not to do all of those you will be so utterly destroyed you won't be able to hold any sort of form for the next 200 years.” With a smirk Cherry found what she was looking for.

“Oh my dear, why on earth would I do any of that, I have vanquished the mighty Alcor the dreambender, what threat could you possibly be to me know?”

“I have one talent, i’m a know it all, and while everyone was fighting you I was doing the one thing i’m best at, learning, I know more about you then even you do, I don’t need to fight you, no you will tear yourself apart for me.” 

 

“N̴̸̢͙͚͙̥̪̗o̶͔̖̕͟w̺̯̺̕ ͇̹͎͞K̴͔̲̻̹͜n̞̰͓̩̦̝͟e̢͙̯̫̜͓͢͡e҉̹l̫̼̖̬͕ͅͅ ̶̺̝̗̯̭b͞҉̝e̢̹̗̥̮͚̤f̛͎̼͡o̮͍͈r͖̪͉̙͔͇e҉̢̞̼̦͈̩̮ ͎̝̦̱̹̠̺͔͍͞m͓̬̻̟͇͟͡e̴̢̯̜͚͓̪̪͟ ̟͍͍̝(̡̨͇̳̭̻̲̭̤̭̙̰̫̅͂͌̓̈̊̎ͩ̆ͦ̓ͭ͑͊ͩ͑̇͆*̡̗͉̲̺̇ͣͨ̏͐͂̕͝≮̗͚̗̱̋̉ͭ̒ͯ.̨̱͉̰̬̬͓̲͈̹̼̻̖̪̦̞̰̰̍̐̏͋ͦ̀ͨ̈́́ͦ̔̆ͤ̊ͣ͂̚͝/̸̧̞̩̣̪̤̰̰̜̹͓̲̺͇̜̿̓̋͋͌̈́̌ͧ͟͢͠_̷̢̛͑̒͂ͩ̿ͭͯͨ͋͒̔̚͏̖̪͖͇͚̖̗̞̥͎͖̼̘̼̤̘̺͞ͅ#̡̡̝̮̜̲̱̣͓̪͉̻̜̜̉̔ͩͭ̔̍̎̋̾͛̂̂͒̚͢)̡̛͚͙͕̼̠̪͚͚ͪ̑ͣ̇̋̈́̋̈́̇ͯ̑͋͐ͣ̊̈ͦ̕͜-ͩ͛ͨ͋̅͒̔̋̓̌̚͡҉̶̲͈̩̹̬̠͚͢”

 

As Cherry shifted back into Chazun Charity fell to her knees with a look of terror in her eyes  
“How, how could anyone know that? Who, who are you?”

“I̧̪̬̲̬͡ ̟̺̤̪̜̩̩̹͝a̯̝̗̣̬̪̫m̦̖̰̮̝̘̻̘ ̟t̡͏̺͈̰͇̰͚h̗͔͎̘̲̺͈͘ȩ̴̜̼̙̺̘̥ ̶̝͙̲͔̳͢͜o̜̱͍̱̖̕͘n͙̥̼̲̤ę͖͇͜ ̛͚̠̻̱̘̖w͏̵̧̲͎h̡̡̰͕͍͈̦̣̦̬o͈̮͠ͅ ͚̪̰͉̩̙͝w͓a̺̗͈͙̫̞͇͘͝t̨̛̗̺̜̙͎̺̹͖c̜̜͢h͏̼͜e͈͡s͈͙̳,̸̶̤ ̺͚̟̭͚̯̜̹t҉̻̣̹̖̟̩̣͉h̨̛͖͎̘e҉҉͎͚̹͟ ̡̳̼̲̹o̥̲̝͓̹̝̠͟ͅn҉̶͕͓̜̖͈̟̖̮e͕̙̹͠͝ ̲̲͟w̥̱̝͖̮̭h̷̜͔͝o̡̙͙̬̠ ̵͖͇͍͕͈͡l̵̨͉̬e̺͟͝͠ḁ̤̮͍̙͍̳̮̕r̝̫͈̞̲ṋ̵̫͓͝ş̴̗̲̞̞͉̗̰͔,̖͈͘ ̥̩̯t̹̯͚͍͍̥͍̲̙h̷̛̛̗̯̩͔ȩ͚̭̩̜̲͙̜ ̹͖͎͓͔͖̮͜ͅơ̲̦̥̫̰̲͉̦͕n̸̷̻͝ͅe͚͢ ̡͎͖̝̜͙̯͈w̘̦̬̥͔̳͞͞h͉o̴̮ ̶̪̠̭̭̳͔ͅk̨̤̣͝n̜̦͘͟o͕̹̞͚̥̞w̼͈͕̣̮s̴̡̝̜ ̜̳͓̩͙̼͈̤e̗̼͉͓͕̩͉v̨͏̬̻̜e̹̫̬̯͜r̷̤̤̰͓͈y̯͇t̢̼͉̝̕͠h̰̬̜̤̬͚̖i͕͖͎̼̱̩͢͢ͅn̼̮̺͉̟̪̖͞g͏̸̰̥̖̥͈ͅ,̨͏̛̗͍͇̠̬̺ ̷̰̦͉̪͔̦͚t͔̦͘h̥͚̕͠ͅe̡̱ ̰͘h̠͈̖̱͎͡͡o̸҉͕ͅl̩͙̺͘d̮͈̞̝ͅȩ̶̗̩͈͎̖͎̬ͅr̷̢̯͕͈̻̺͇̭ ̟̻̠̳͔͈̣ǫ͚̞̩͟f̵̙̣̜͙͇̲̕͟ 

͟͏͙̲̪̗t̜̜̗̖͕̳̩̤̙͜h͓͖̙̠̙̤̮͟e͏̷̞̠̮̤̞̟̭̮ ̮̪̲̻̩̭͘ͅp̬̫̭͙̬r͈̻͔̬̗͎͙͈o̧͇̭͈̥̝̙̪̭p̛̛͖̱h̛̺̥̤͓̥̪̣ę̪̙͎͖͉͖̳̰c͏̺̮̮̺̻͘͝i̶̢̩̣̼ͅe̴̢̘͉̖s҉̣͠,҉̷҉̦̤͎̜̫ ̝̘͔ͅa̗̩̱n̞̳̻̹̩̬͘d͎̻̜̩̯̜ͅͅ ̥͓͞͝a̺̣̜͟͜ ̠͇͇͚̲̣c̞̲̞̭̼̪̼̟l̡̛͍o̫͉̥͙͖s̷͏̜̻̟ȩ҉̬̲ ͇̣̫͘̕f͔͙̟̻͓̟̣͜͠ṛ̙͓͝ͅi̡̛̘͉̻̼̭̼̗̘̗e̻̻̭͝͠n͙d͚͉̙͙ ̛̟t̲͔͖͎̗ͅo̵͖̮ ͈̭͉͚̫͔̥A̡̨̩̠̼̥̲̹̬l̨͍̬̼͟ͅc̵҉̝̬͉͖͚͎͚o͉̝͈͓̕r̝̺̭͇͖̟̬͎͘͟ͅ ͕̮̮͠t̡̢̟̮̘͙̟̣͘h̸̙̣̼̬̮̟͎͇ͅe͏̹͖͍̺̪̝ ̷̳̝͙͞D̶̨͖̰̺̮̬̞͓r̸̵̡̝̦e͏̩͈͔̼͙a̧͈m̶͍͓b̴̴͍̠̹͔͍̱̳e̛̱̞̮̣ͅͅͅn̻͔̬͙̪̩͍̥̫͝d̖̣̣̮̭̞̤͖̹e̛̟̲r̶̭̱̯̞͍͓̻̱̕ͅ,̠͉̹̖͜͢͝ ̸̘̥̲̭͉̻̝̘͜͜ͅy̟͝o̴̙̣͚̖̗̹͡u̹̥̬̜ ̩̞̯̮͓͘͠ͅh̵̷̲̻͓͙͎̺̳̺a̡̨͎̪̖̬͚͡v̧̝̝e̱̥̱̩͕̭̤͔ ̡͔̘̮̗̞̞̻k̷̯̖͟i̡̘̬ͅd̳̺n̵̢̞̤a̪͎p̸̛͓̤͍p̲̮͜͡ȩ̸̖̻d̷̘̦͔ ̵͓̱͕̠͇̞̣̝ṱ̴̝͉h̳̝̳͕ǫ͈͚̲͙u͏̟̺̲̮̳̘̬s̢̪͉̥͢a͉̱͕̯͕̤͡ͅn̴̯̹̫͇̜̻d̮̯s̴͍͓͈̬̥̜̯̗̕,̸̸̝͚ 

̴̙͔͍̙̠ą̭̲̪̙͚͉̬n͏̵͍͈̞̤̫̩̘̝͠d̷͉̮͍̲̜̰ ̻̝I̸̡̠͞ ͏̷͈̭̺̺̘̣̬͡h͍̝̰̰̹͟͡a̱̬v̨̙̜̼͇̼͎̼e̼͕͙̤̝̣̘ ̵̜̥͕͍̥̘̥͠b̡̻̬̪̝̤͇̰̠̙͜ę̣̭͍̺̪̻͙͞ͅe͉̗̩̼̬̮͎͙̜͞n̸̡̨̳̹͚̖̙̼ ̷̡̰c͙͎̞̟ą̸̯̲̣l̢̨̘̞̳̯̙̟l̟̼̭͖̺͝e͏̢̠̝̝̘̜̦͎͇͘ḑ̣͇̯̟̭̣͞ ̬̝̜͠͝i̶̺͉̗͉̠̬͞n̸̮̱̠̤͈ ̼͉̩̙̘t͏҉̦͖o҉̡̢̯̪̻̯̖̞̘̰ ̹͕͚̜̣͘͘c͇͘l̷͘҉͉̬͇͕̫̙e̶̵̡͈̬͚̹̻̰a̶̳͔̻͖̱͓̥n̷̛̠͍͕̹͙ ̷̛͎̝͎̹͔̜̘ͅư͍̙̟̲̖͚̬̭͘p̗̦ ̘͕͈̫y͚̻͢͞o͓̺̗̣͜͠u͍̥̹͉̼̣̩͔͘͠r͇̱̠͇̠ ̡̟̟̮̠̘̰̫̗m̨̠̳̜̩̬͠ͅẹs͇̠̻͢͡͝s̳.̜̫̺̼͖͉̟̼ I̧̥̳̜͕̟ͅ ̨̛̙͇ͅa͇͈̱m҉̭ ̠͙C͕̦͚̥̟͍͉̭͝h̦̜͎͉͈̫͠a͍̮̹̻̤̹̕z̴̡̭͖̤u̺ͅn̨͙͉̱̯͉͎̗̫͘͢, ṉ͙̦̝͚͖o҉̹̦͈̺̥̙̪̭w̳͔̲̭̳͘̕ ̗̗K̶̛̻͍̠i̬̙̭̞͕̘͜͟l͞͏̷̥̙͍͖l͕̜͕̲̩̪̺̗ ̸͏̻̮y̛͓̹͎͍͖̤̙̟͉o̰̤̼̻̫̖͠͠ų͏̲̭̞̥̺̟͙̼͍r̶͓̠͖̮̹̜̻ ̴̷̢̼̭̥̬̩ͅs̶͓̥̼͖͞e̗̮̥l̗̯̰̼f̧̲̗ ̟͍͍̝(̡̨͇̳̭̻̲̭̤̭̙̰̫̅͂͌̓̈̊̎ͩ̆ͦ̓ͭ͑͊ͩ͑̇͆*̡̗͉̲̺̇ͣͨ̏͐͂̕͝≮̗͚̗̱̋̉ͭ̒ͯ.̨̱͉̰̬̬͓̲͈̹̼̻̖̪̦̞̰̰̍̐̏͋ͦ̀ͨ̈́́ͦ̔̆ͤ̊ͣ͂̚͝/̸̧̞̩̣̪̤̰̰̜̹͓̲̺͇̜̿̓̋͋͌̈́̌ͧ͟͢͠_̷̢̛͑̒͂ͩ̿ͭͯͨ͋͒̔̚͏̖̪͖͇͚̖̗̞̥͎͖̼̘̼̤̘̺͞ͅ#̡̡̝̮̜̲̱̣͓̪͉̻̜̜̉̔ͩͭ̔̍̎̋̾͛̂̂͒̚͢)̡̛͚͙͕̼̠̪͚͚ͪ̑ͣ̇̋̈́̋̈́̇ͯ̑͋͐ͣ̊̈ͦ̕͜-ͩ͛ͨ͋̅͒̔̋̓̌̚͡҉̶̲͈̩̹̬̠͚͢””

 

With a horrified look Charity reached up and ripped her own head off screaming “This isn't the end, i’ll be back, you’re going to pay for this!”

Slipping back into the Cherry disguise Chazun let out a simple “I know” before walking away throwing Alcor over her shoulder as she passed, dropping him off with the dinner crew as they started to round up the kids as the brainwashing wore off cherry walked over to where the government and Hank were arresting the church members.

“Thanks for the help Cherry, we are still making sure all the children are here but things are looking good” Hank said looking relieved that this whole ordeal was over

“What the bloody hell are you?” one of the nearby generals screamed

“Do you seriously have no idea?” Cherry said turning away from the general and towards Hank “Ok bro-bro, i’m heading back home i’ll meet you back in Portland when you get there, see ya!”

Hopping onto a motorcycle that wasn't there a moment ago Cherry rode off into the direction of Portland.

“Don Pines, who the hell is that and why the hell did she call you bro-bro?”

“Does it really matter?” Hank said before turning away and walking towards the dinner crew

“Whatever she is, she part of the dinner crew now, leave her to me”


	7. Dreaded phone calls and cakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short rap up to Chaz's adventure with the Dinner crew, well one of them (wink wink)

Back in Portland Hank turned on the light in his and Vivi’s houses to find Cherry sitting on his couch next to the phone, before Hank could say anything Cherry raised her hand and pointed at the phone right as it began to ring, pulling a bag of popcorn out of nowhere Cherry slid over so Hank could sit down and talk on the phone, dreading what was coming next Hank picked up the phone.

“What the hell is going on Hank, i’m here with Willow and she just showed me a news article talking about Don Pines’ sister Cherry, then there’s a leaked video of this Cherry single handedly defeating an angel stronger than uncle Dipper”

Wincing slightly as Cherry doubled over in laughter next to him Hank said “Hey Acacia, remember uncle Chaz? Alcor and I called them in to help find the 10,000 missing children, they were not too happy to be summoned for anything other then poker, they agreed to help but said he would be pranking uncle for the rest of time, the whole Cherry thing was the first prank”

“Wasn't their only request was not to be use for this sort of thing?”

“Hey Willow, hey Acacia, yup so this a joint prank on the two of them, oh and brother has been so awkward whenever i’m around, wonder why?” Cherry said with a grin.

“Are you referring to Hank as brother? I can see why shy little Hank would be awkward” Willow said with a note of mischiness in her voice.

“You know it sis, I’ll come over to Gravity Falls tomorrow to tell you the whole story”

Trying to keep back laughter Acacia said “Oh I want to hear this story too, how much for a written copy of it for re-reading later?”

“How about this, get me a picture of little Dippy with a pie in his face and i’ll make copies for both of you”

Willow in the back audibly laughing Acacia said “ It will be my pleasure, talk to you tomorrow sis”  
Acacia then let out a loud laugh herself before hanging up.

“Well my dear bro-bro, looks like I need to go pack for a quick trip to Gravity Falls, tell the dinner crew i’m going to stick around for a while and help with your messes, see you later bro-bro” Cherry said briefly turning back into Chazun for a moment to let out a laugh before turning back and walking out the door, leaving Hank alone to sigh.

“Oh, I hope this doesn't last for long”

\--------------------

About a week later and four phone calls from his sister with nothing but laughing Hank opened up the door to one of the warehouses to start preparing for the meeting and as Hank walked into the dark room he heard. “Hey bro-bro, do you know where the lightswitch is?.” Having dealt with enough shit from Cherry to not even show any reaction Hank stuck his arm out and felt the wall till he found the switch, Hank was not ready for what he saw.

Spread out across the entirely of the warehouse were tables of food, everything from roasted pork to whole cooked gooses and the largest salad bar Hank has ever seen, there was more than enough food there for the entirety of the dinner crew, and sitting on the center table was a nearly three foot tall cake. Turning away from frosting the cake Cherry smirked before asking “So where do I put the leftovers?” Still in awe of the amount of food in front of him Hank stuttered and said “I, I have no idea, there normally isn't any leftovers, the dinner crew does a good job of leaving no scrapes.”

“How about this, I’ll add a bottomless drawer to your fridge if you let me store stuff in there too”

“That’s extremely vague and knowing you you would start putting severed body parts in it, I think i’ll pass”

“That sucks, now can you give me a hand frosting this, I made sure the entirety of the dinner crew would be able to be here tonight, besides I already bribed Alcor with a different cake to make sure all the food stays pleasantly warm, i’m already multitasking this and the stew, besides I-” Before Cherry could finish her sentence Alcor floated down next to Hank with a miffed look, in his 4 hands were 5 different cakes, shooting glares at Cherry he said “Do all the cakes have weird fillings? Cause i’m getting sick of the nearly endless amount of mustard mixed with ranch dressing oozing out of this one, and the one with toothpicks and fudge, i'm still pulling delicious toothpicks out of my gums. Speaking of which did you enchant toothpicks just so they could tickle me?”

 

“Oh what would give you that idea? Now if you could excu- Chewy leave the jerky alone!” she said as she whipped her head in a 180 without turning her body to face Chewy who was sneaking towards a table with a mountain of jerkys on it, before slowly turning and walking back to the corner with a eight foot doggie bed for Chewy to sleep in.

“Is it just me or is Chewy larger now?” Hank said

“Oh he is, this is his full size, I shrunk him when I came to visit you earlier because he’s hard to fit through doors when at full size, but because the warehouse is so massive I decided it would be fine for him to be full size”

“Ok but-” But before Hank could finish his sentence the door opened and Lucy Ann walked in with Toby and Kiyo, looking around Lucy Ann said “hmmm, something tells me tonight's going to get wild”

“Don’t worry I have added limiting spells on the alcohol, once blood alcohol levels pass a certain point none of the bottles will pour for you”

“Oh hey Cherry, Have you meet Kiyo yet?” Vivi said as she walked in behind Toby.

“No, but I know all about them”

“Oh really? And how do you know so much about me?” Kiyo said bending down to look closer at Cherry.

“That is a very simple and a very complex answer”

“She is actually a demon, also an extremely dorky know it all” Alcor said.

“Thanks al-dork, how about you try the cake in your bottom left hand, the one I had mebel frost”  
Cherry shot back as she slowly transformed back into Chazun. Eyes widen at the sight of Chazun but everyone attention was instantly focus on ALcor as he bit into the cake and it blew up in his face, when the clouds of sparkles and confetti fade away Alcor was coated head to toe in rainbow sparkles, no sparkles were on the floor or the food, but when ever he tried to wipe away the sparkles they would just stick to his hand instead, staring at the offending sparkles Alcor frowned before lock eyes with Chazun and biting his whole hand off, as it grew back slowly without sparkles Alcor said “Ha ha, how about you tell me what's in the other cakes your making me eat?” Cackling evilly Chazun said “You wish” then they turned back into Cherry.

Still watching all this happen Kiyo decide to speak up and said “he is exceptionally dorky”  
Looking mildly offended at that Cherry reached up and pulled her shades off to reveal the blank skin where eyes should be before cleaning the glasses with her hoodie sleeve, looking at Kiyo while doing this Cherry said “I’m blinded by your observantness” as a short groan was shared throughout the room Cherry perched her shades back on her face as more creatures began to arrive. Putting on a smile too big for her face Cherry said “This is going to be a fun night”

It was.


End file.
